How do I cope with a relationship break-up?

Some background, some drama

And so it’s happened. How you wished and prayed to avoid the inevitable. Every effort has been futile. Every promise has been broken. And two souls who vowed to be together have joined the statistics of broken relationships!

We fall in love. We fall out of love. We break-up. We move on. We don’t, sometimes. We remain in love but single. Many scenarios, one feeling…that feeling called love!

What next?

There are two paths you can tread on
  • Either wallow in self-pity, be self-destructive and lose the plot (OR)
  • Give yourself some time to grieve, move on and perhaps go in for a total life renovation positively.

Do’s and Don’ts of dealing with a break-up

Studies stand testament that the same regions of the brain are activated when an addict is going through withdrawal symptoms as when someone is going through a breakup. Every person deals with a break-up in his/her own way. Of course, there are no golden rules established. But, in our Know More series we have tried to list down a few do’s and don’ts to guide you, help you and eventually move on and survive a break-up.


  • Purge all contact in the real as well as the virtual world. No contact is good contact till you can get a grip on your feelings, emotions and words.
  • Spend time with your loved ones, friends and relatives.
  • If the break-up has been particularly nasty it may be a good idea to work out issues with a therapist. Turn your loss into a learning experience. Focus on your strengths and be positive.
  • Reinvent yourself. Discover the wonders of a new hobby, new friends or even a new haircut.
  • Be pleasant if you come in contact with your ex. Mudslinging and washing dirty linen in public is pointless and stressful.
  • Move on gradually and be open to another relationship. It’s okay to fall in love more than once!


  • No self-abuse and dependency on alcohol, drugs, etc. It would only make you feel even more hopeless as well as helpless.
  • Rebound relationships, one night stands, no strings attached sex, etc. are temporary ego boosters. They will only end up damaging your self-esteem in the long run.
  • Bitterness is not the answer for anybody and talking about your ex negatively never has the outcome you want it to have. It’s just prolonging the pain and stress.
  • Don’t pretend to be all okay when you are shattered inside. It is okay to cry, feel hurt or betrayed.

Famous last words

Yes, sometimes the relationships and break-ups hurt—and like hell. However, learning is an important part of the healing process. No relationship, no matter how negative it may seem, can be considered a failure if you have grown as a result of the experience. Time heals…so just give it some time.

Sources and citations